Drunks Never Lie

That's 2.5 gallons

- Dude, she was smmmmmoking hot! We banged for hours.
- I can drive.
- I love you.

All of these are claims made by drunks. None of which are ever true. So why on earth would you believe anything else they had to say?

One in 10 Saturday night drinkers go out intent on consuming the equivalent of 20 pints, research finds.

Right. Do you know how much that is? That’s 40 cups, which is two and a half gallons! Even a dehydrated camel stumbling upon an oasis might balk at 2.5 gallons of water. And that’s water.

When interviewed, half of people said they were drunk and just over half of those planned to carry on drinking.One in 10 people, 15 per cent of men and 4 per cent of women, said their total alcohol intake would be more than 40 units before they stopped drinking.

Wait. You were interviewing drunk people about what they were capable of? Have you ever met a drunk person? Ever? You’d think you were interviewing superheroes.

Researchers analysed the habits of 214 drinkers on Saturday nights in Liverpool, Manchester and Chester.

Oh whoa whoa whoa…I didn’t realize we were talking about Brits. This study is probably true then. I 100% believe they go out to drink as much as physically possible.