Best roadkill ever
What event or occurrence would have to happen in life for it NOT to be reported in the news? I keep thinking that news agencies can dig no deeper, only to behold a reporter with a back hoe, digging some shit up on an arid, uninhabitable land. This is what he found and chose to share with the world.
A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate “a road-killed opossum,” state police say. But this was one possum who wasn’t playing possum — the ugly creature remained dead.
Oooo, clever! See what he did there? “Playing possum”. Very subtle pun. In case you didn’t click on the link above yet, this was posted on cnn.com, which should stand for “Certainly Not News” from here on out.
Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report.
Determined? As if there was a group huddle during the final question of a trivia night. The dude was trying to resuscitate a dead arboreal marsupial, I think it’s safe to say that he experiencing an clarity-of-the-mind kind of moment.
The arresting officer in the incident was unavailable for comment Friday. Attempts to reach Wolfe were also unsuccessful.
Good, shit brick. Jason, why are you trying to contact these people anyway? WTF more were you going to learn and share with us that would shed light on the matter at hand? You’ve already wasted enough of our time. Cnn.com seems to place think that related topics might be, “Pennsylvania”, “wildlife”, and “crime & law”. Really? I would think that it would be related to, “Useless”, “Inane” and “Other reasons Jason Kessler should be fired”.
Last 5 posts by Commodore
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