Follow The Logic Trail

A portrait of the headmaster

Say you were carrying around a “illogical meter”. It kind of works like a Geiger counter. Everytime you are close to logic, it doesn’t read anything. Everytime you abut yourself next to an illogical situation, it starts to show activity. If you carried an “illogical meter” into this state of affairs, it would have been rendered kaput from over activity.

A boy of five was left stranded in a tree at school because of a bizarre health and safety policy – which banned teachers from helping him down. The mischievous pupil climbed the 20ft tree at the end of morning break and refused to come down. But instead of helping him, staff followed guidelines and retreated inside the school building to ‘observe from a distance’ so the child would not get ‘distracted and fall’.

Beep….Beep….Beep..Beep.Beep. Oh we’re just getting warmed up, Mr. Illogical Meter. Hang on to your boots.

The boy was only rescued after 45 minutes in the tree when passer-by Kim Barrett, 38, noticed the child and helped him down herself. But instead of being thanked for her actions by the head teacher of the Manor School in Melksham, Wiltshire, she was reported to the police for trespassing.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP – Boing…Hissssssssssssss. Jesus! I’ve heard that headmasters in Nazi war camps were more sympathetic than this. This woman must have been a cross between Meryl Streep’s character in Doubt annnnnnnnd….The Predator. WTF.