Jay-Z is cold blooded

Gosh, these Jay-Z concerts are absurd

One has to wonder, was this story reported on because the word “Jay-Z” was in it, or because people actually demand to be informed of things like this. The title of the article is, “Sleeping man shocked after cold man jumps into bed”. WTF! And no, it doesn’t get any better.

Police said a man broke into a Pittsburgh home and climbed into bed with its owner, apparently because he was drunk and cold following a rap concert.

That’s it? You’re not going to explain the connection to being cold following a rap concert? Afterall, that is the only interesting piece of this article, why in God’s name did the reporter…report it! If he was drunk and cold following the Polar Bear plunge, that would hold water. Haha. Get it? Hold Water? Cause if he was cold after jumping in the water it would be as if he was holdi-

Police said Fontana kept the man at bay until police arrived but didn’t hit him with the bat.

In related news, I woke up in the middle of the night last night, hungry. I had a spoonful of nutella and a cracker.