Take That, Carrie Prejean!!

Yup.

Carrie Prejean made some rumblings a few months back (that I’m sure I bitched about) when her hot little self said that gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry during a presidential deb- errr wait, no, it wasn’t that important of an arena. It was during a “pretty contest”, but whatever, that is not the point. The point is that someone in a less significant “pretty contest” said something much more firming and specific regarding her feelings towards homosexuals. So let’s talk about it.

23 year-old Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley says, “The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says: ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white. I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

Oh goody! Fox news thinks we should care about what a 23 year-old Beauty Queen from Beverly Hills thinks, since she represents a large demographic of the country. But honestly, is this for real? She is quoting the Old Testament for truths? That’s about as smart as asking a homeless man for his best fois gras recipe. And Leviticus of all books? You know what else Leviticus says?

Leviticus 20:9-10 God commands death for cursing out ones parents and death for adultery.
Leviticus 26:30 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shill ye eat.
Leviticus 27:28-29 God ordered and allowed human sacrifices.

So since God knows more about life than us and has the best for everyone, we have to listen to ALL His stern warnings, right Lauren? And it looks like that means that if you’ve ever sworn at your parents (even under your breath, my sweet little angel! Don’t forget, sins are “by word, thought or deed”), they can kill you and then eat you and everything should be fine and dandy.

Yay God!

*Oh and Lauren, when you’re ready to have premarital sex, call me. I can guarantee your safety from God killing you for that sin. My relationship with Him is THAT good.