So this is why women aren't having sex

Not Commodore!

If you’re a sex-crazed man – and if you are male, you probably are – this next story is going to confuse you and might even make you start wearing a green colored label on your shirt, letting girls know that you’re “a-go”, at all times.

More than a quarter of women over 35 surveyed said they ‘never’ have sex, while in Scotland that figure rose to 38 per cent. So, what is at the heart of this phenomenon? It has always been known that women’s libido is a complex entity. Are stressful jobs and complicated lives sapping our desire to make love? Do women inevitably lose interest once they’ve had children? A recent book, The Sex Starved Wife by Michele Weiner Davis, argues there is another oft-ignored element to the debate, a troubling new trend: the decline of male desire.

Oh come on! If there is any constant in the universe, it is the unfied string theory that all men are hornier than the next guy. It’s why life perpetuates itself. Instead of pulling out, sex feels so good that we would risk being responsible for offspring for the next 25 years of our lives. That’s how good it feels. Ladies, if you are sex starved, I will do the noble, sacrificial thing, and have sex with you.

There are many reasons why men are losing their desire for their partners, including the massive rise in internet pornography, and increased stress and anxiety around work and money.

And because they get bored with their girlfriend and want to mount something else. Look, men will continue to get off. It’s like hitting the button on “the island”. If they don’t hit it, some seriously crazy shit will happen. Ladies, stay sexy, don’t piss him off with absurd relationship demands, do crazy shit in bed, and your man will still want you. It’s simple.

And to those 38% of females not having sex in Scotland…I have to say, I went to Scotland this summer and I didn’t see too many lookers. Maybe relax on the beer and the haggis and you might be a bit more attractive to the population. Now, if you are a Scottish female, are not having sex, but think you’re hot and want to prove me wrong, send your photo to browteff@gmail.com and you could be the next “Name That Hot Chick”.

Incredibly complex,

Commodore