Not A Good Idea

No one wants this

I read Chris Anderson’s “Long Tail” and I am aware of the endless niche markets that have presented themselves in this new economy. But just because an idea be thought up, doesn’t mean that there is a niche for it.

A new professional basketball league boasting rosters made up exclusively of white Americans has its eyes set on Augusta. The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes Augusta will be one of 12 cities with a team. “Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league,” the statement said.

Talk about a slam dunk! Shazaaaam!

Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league’s roster restrictions is not racism. “There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

Because what’s less racist than saying that only white people can play fundamental basketball? Jesus Christ. You know, I think Hitler had this idea too. The only way this could be more racist is if the league’s slogan was, “Fuck black people and their monkey-like athleticism.”

What’s next? An engineering school that doesn’t let Asians in so that everyone else can seem smarter? What? What’s the problem? People don’t like having to compete with hard working Asian students. It’s not racist!