It’s Because They’re Horny

This is every guy's feeling after ejaculating

It still amazes me at the hope that women have at understanding men’s desires to dabble in infidelity. Why do men cheat? What is it that I don’t have? etc. The simple and correct answer of “it’s a sexual desire that literally hijacks our brain from clearly processing rational thought and consequences” always seems to not be good enough. And now another study is trying to figure out why men pay for hookers.

Interviewees told us that they felt intense guilt and shame about paying for sex. “I’m not satisfied in my mind” was how one described his feelings after paying for sex. Another told me that he felt “disappointed – what a waste of money”, “lonely still” and “guilty about my relationship with my wife”. In fact, many of the men were a mass of contradictions. Despite finding their experiences “unfulfilling, empty, terrible”, they continued to visit prostitutes.

Um. Hello? Is this thing on? (tap..tap) Of course guys feel lonely, disappointed and guilty after being with a hooker. You see, immediately after a man cums, he is disgusted with everything about sex. Vaginas weird him out, bodily fluids are gross, and latex is creepy. Shit, guys feel disgusted after they masturbate into their jizz rag and catch a glimpse of the porn still on their computer, where two seconds earlier they were spooning Crisco on their penis while watching an Eastern European woman get gang banged by a bunch of midgets. Now imagine a post-ejaculatroy feeling with the addition of having to give up $100 for it. That’s uber depressing.

Men have an unconscionable sex drive that spikes and crashes in milliseconds and that is why they continue to visit prostitutes. Period. Yes, after an encounter with a hooker the man plays the, “What am I doing?”, “I’ll never do this again”, “This was so dirty”, “I feel empty game” for a little while. But a few days later when his sex drive is recharged and he has a few drinks in him…the penis does its comandeering of decision-making-capabilities thing, and the idea of having sex with a complete stranger seems like the best idea since PB&J.

When asked what would end prostitution, one interviewee laughed and said, “Kill all the girls.” Paul told me that it would take “all the men to be locked up”.

Hey, I’m just the messenger here. Males are dirtbags, biologically. Go watch Planet Earth and see what males do for sex. “Romantic” isn’t the first word that comes to mind.