His Fake Penis Fell Off…

That's sweeeet

It’s not always the case that you get to read those 5 words in the sentence of any story, let alone one about a hermaphroditic South African crime lord, but today’s your lucky day!

South African police caught more than they expected in a Cape Town drug raid when a strap-on dildo fell off a suspected crime lord during a search, the Sunday Times reported.

If it was “strapped on”, how does it “fall off”, I wonder. Here “search” must be closely related to “beat the fuck out of”.

“I had a vagina that could not be penetrated. But I also had male organs, testes. But I always knew I was really a man and that was what I wanted to be,” Fat Murphy told the court, according to the newspaper. “God created me with both sexual organs. It was God’s decision, not mine.”

That God has a weird sense of humor, a? And Mr. Murphy, if it was God’s decision to give you both organs, who gives you the right to decide that you were always a man? If God wants you to dance like a clown, you dance like a clown.