Life, Liberty and the Absence of Fatty-ness

Sorry buddy

For too long fat people have clogged our landscapes, widened our doorways and reproduced with amazing fervor and drive. Can’t people live in a world where the fat people don’t get in the way? There’s one website that thinks so.

www.beautifulpeople.com made more than 5,000 users re-apply after they posted pictures of themselves looking chubbier than usual celebrating the festive season.

Hey if you let your driver’s license expire, you have to reapply. Same logic. Legally, you used to be able to drive, but you let your shit slide, and now you have to re-up. Same logic here with weight gain. Quite brilliant actually. Haven’t people been fooled long enough by the that one perfect picture that heavy people take to make them look skinnier? Can’t we just call a spade a spade?

Founder Robert Hintze said: “As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. You signed up for beautiful people, they didn’t look for you. Just like, you signed up for the Marines, don’t go crying when they kick you out because you can’t cut it.

Managers sent them emails encouraging them to reapply when they have slimmed down.

Look at that! Even extending the ol’ olive branch. That’s noble.