Blood Alcohol Content of 0.708

Yes, you are

Right or wrong, everyone thinks they’re “fine” when it comes to getting behind the wheel of a car after a few drinks or a few too many. It comes with the activation of the “hero gene” that alcohol consumption triggers. But all drunken logic has its limit. This is one of them.

South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen delivery van earlier this month registered a blood alcohol content of .708 — nearly nine times the legal limit and a possible record for the state.

Problem number 1, South Dakota, is that you called this thing a record. Now everyone in the state knows what they have to shoot for to break the record. Show a human a record and I’ll show you 18 people trying to break it. I did some rudimentary calculations using assumptions about this woman’s weight and metabolism rate on beertown.org and figured out that to get to a BAC of .708 she would have had to consume 24 beers (or so). After 24 beers, one shouldn’t be blinking let alone stealing vans.

She was being held on two counts of driving under the influence.

Why the two charges? Is there a level of intoxication where you are slapped with another ticket? Is it kind of like a luxury tax? WTF.