This Seems Necessary

What's wrong with this picture?

While you’re out enjoying some holiday egg nog with your family and opening some gifts, I’m pretty sure that you forgot to get this for your dog. Shame on you.

Is your dog in heat and humping anything it can wrap its horny little legs around? Are you constantly having to pry your promiscuous pooch off the legs of guests, parents and members of your church? Protect your leg from a hump attack by getting Scruffy a Hotdoll. Yes, it’s a sex doll for dogs. It’s shaped like a dog and it’ll allow your tension-filled pet to go to town as much as his little heart desires, humping away until he passes out in exhaustion, leaving a wispy coil of friction-singed dog-fur smoke wafting into the air.

A wispy coil of friction-singed dog-fur smoke wafting into the air. How lovely. (quote from Gizmodo, btw). It’s nice to see how far we’ve come. I couldn’t think of one thing someone could buy that would tell you more about their inability to be a stand up human being, other than a sex toy for their dog. Ok, someone who bought slaves out of an Eastern European shipping container could be another purchased good that would lead me to the same conclusion, but you get my point.

Then again, this product is brought to us by the French, and they invented French kissing, French maids, menage a trois, mistresses, carte blanche, Cul-de-sacs, and the like. Maybe they’re on to something…C’est la vie.