Another Important (Yaaaaaawn) Survey

Here, for the Pew Research team

You have to love the shit humans think up to study. I bet people at the Pew Internet and American Life Project sit in a room not unlike a war room and fire off ideas.

- What percentage of men wash their balls, before their face in the shower?
- What percentage of people think that we are relevant and provide meaningful insight?
- What percentage of teenagers are “sexting”?

Ok, that last one is real.

Nearly one-sixth of teens who own cell phones have received nude or nearly nude images via text message from someone they know.

That’s great. And the earth travels around the sun. Can we get on with our lives, now? Was the “nearly” thrown in there to shock us? Because it doesn’t. Considering roughly 50% of teenagers are sexually active, this survey is re-godamn-diculously matter of fact. I’d say 15% is par for the course.

The national telephone survey confirms parent and teacher worries that young people are using cell phones to send out and receive sexually explicit images of themselves and of romantic partners.

Confirms? Well if you needed a few people to “confirm” this revelation, then yes, you have your smoking gun. Seriously, read the post. It is so non-interesting it’s as if you were reading an article titled, “Water falls down from the clouds, just as scientists thought”.

The Pew survey suggests teens who pay their own cell phone bills and who have unlimited text messaging plans are more likely to engage in sexting than those who use phones owned by their parents or have restrictions placed on how frequently they can text.

Wow, way to “suggest” a radical point there, Pew team. Who would have ever guessed that kids with the ability to hide things from their parents will do things more often?! Golee gee wilkers.

Teenage sexting usually is done as part of a relationship or would-be relationship between teens, the Pew focus groups found.

Gosh, the insight is blinding! I wouldn’t suspect that people go off asking random people for their phone numbers so they can send them a picture of their half-naked selves. WTF!

The rest of the article made my eyes bleed so I just stopped reading. I have a poll I want the Pew Research team to ask: How many people think that most humans need to find something more productive to do with their lives other than creating polls that ultimately, state the glaring obvious?