Why Would You Do This?

Unnecessary

We enable morons when we report about them. I’m sure I’m not helping the cause but then again, that’s the irony of our site. But come on now, folks. This is just ridiculous.

Zaarath and Christopher Prokop — and their two cats — live in the smallest apartment in the city, a 175-square-foot “microstudio” in Morningside Heights the couple bought three months ago for $150,000.

Of course they were cat owners. Anyone who just owns a cat (and not also a dog) has something wrong with them, biologically. That’s a scientifically proven fact. You disagree?

They use the space on the counter as a feeding area for their cats, Esmeralda and Beauregard.

Case closed.

“I’m amazed we can fit two people and two cats in there,” Zaarath said. “But it’s harmonious at this point. I have friends who say they could never live with their husbands in a place this small. It’s a good thing we like each other enough to live there.”

Your friends have probably been living together longer than three months, that’s why. I bet jail is harmonious too for the first 3 months. Talk to me when when you guys have a tiff and your husband is cupping his nuts while watching Fresno State – Utah.

They then jog to their jobs in Midtown, picking up along the way their work clothes, which are “strategically stashed at various dry cleaners.” Just in case the cleaners are closed, both have emergency clothes at their offices. “I have a closet at my office,” Zaarath said. “You don’t want to be standing outside a closed cleaners at 8:45 in your workout pants thinking, ‘Greeeeeat’ . . . It’s a great strategy. You always have fresh things to wear.”

That’s a horrible strategy! A great strategy is housing the clothes you wear less than 30 feet from the shower, not one that involves you running around the city trying to locate a pair of pants that match your green shirt on your way to work. WTF! Yeah, you can live your life storing your clothes at the dry cleaners, but that doesn’t mean it’s meant to be done. Shit, you can drive a car with your feet if you want to, that don’t make it a good fuckin idea! (Thanks Chris Rock.)