Life Isn’t Fair

You USED to have 99 problems

Hate people that win a couple millioin dollar lottery on their first purchased ticket? Well get a new form of hatred ready.

Two penniless brothers who live in a cave outside Budapest are to inherit most of a reported £4 billion ($7 billion) after an astonishing twist in their family fortunes.

A cave. They live in a cave and now they are now two of the richest people on earth. Rags to riches is one thing, but I haven’t seen life stock change that quick since OJ thought, “I’m just gonna swing by the house and see what’s going on.”

Zsolt and Geza Peladi have no fixed address and eke out an existence by selling junk they find in the street. But their scavenging days are about to be over. The brothers have been informed they are entitled to their long-lost grandmother’s fortune, along with a sister who lives in America.

How many, “You’re fucking with me, right?” do you think that informer heard?

”If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now – all we really had was each other – no women would look at us living in a cave,” Geza said. ”But with money, maybe we can find a partner and finally have a normal life. I understand it was only while they were carrying out genealogical research that lawyers found we existed.”

Maybe find a partner? Fellas, fellas. I understand that you have not had too many run ins with the opposite sex but yes, billions might open the door to some females. And if you consider snorting cocaine off of European supermodels’ nipples’ while basking on your 60-foot yacht of the coast of Sardinia while the English soccer team you just bought won the Champions League, your definition of a “normal” life, then you two lads are in luck.

Have fun gents. Don’t go marrying the first girl that talks to you.