You’re Gay, And I Don’t Give A Shit

guess what, I'm gay and nobody cares.

First of all, I don’t even know who Meridith Baxter is. And second of all, who gives a shit whether or not she’s gay, straight, trans, or a goddamn dolphin-fucker!?!

“The National Enquirer recently ran a story about Baxter being spotted on a lesbian cruise through the Caribbean with a “female friend,” which was then picked up by celebrity blogs. As a result, the 62-year-old decided to tell her fans herself.”

That’s great. The National Enquirer should call me so we can discuss running a story about my nipple. I think it has a few milk ducts on it and I’m not even a woman. What the fuck man?

She’s 62, she doesn’t have an upper lip and she wears a bob. Point being, this isn’t news, it’s not even close guys!

I’ll bet that I’m the ONLY person in the United States that was actually dumb enough to click on the link to this article. Every single other person that went to cnn.com probably glanced over it and said to themselves: “Old news…BFD. Wonder who Tiger fucked today,” or something cool like that. I, on the other hand, think to myself: Hmmm, who is Meredith Baxter and was she ever hot enough for me to think about sucking her ass? Guess I’d better find out…

Great, A) she wasn’t, and B) now I’ve wasted 30 minutes of my day.

NOT NEWS dickheads. WTF!