We Wouldn’t Have Enough Stones Here

Modern day Iran

It’s easy to forget that we live in the land of good and plenty because…well, because we live in the land of good and plenty. But there are places in this world where people get stoned to death for being swingers. I’m not talking about a story that happened during Assyrian rule, I’m talking about 2009.

Iran’s moral police have arrested a dozen couples for engaging in illicit sexual acts, including swapping partners, the conservative Jomhuri Eslami reported on Monday.

Iran’s moral police. Aren’t those words, in fact, an oxymoron?

The couples were said to have carried out sexual acts in the presence of each other and several times with multiple partners, the report added.

God forbid someone gets a little ass in Iran. I think it would do the population good to loosen up, don’t we think? I realize that I would not pass a written “Strict Shia Law” test, but come on, this was consensual sex!

Those arrested held university degrees, while some were government employees and had children.

Yes, that’s right, the smart and educated know how much fun sex is! The article makes it sound like these people were carving up babies and selling the body parts for giraffe hides. WTF.

Extra-marital sex is illegal in Iran where Islamic sharia law is the principal source of legislation. If found guilty of adultery, those arrested in the crackdown face being stoned to death.

STONED. TO. DEATH. Yay for religion!