Wait, Explain Yourselves!

You all should thank me, originally I had a huge fat chick up here...

Rarely do I sit in a pure state of befuddlement. Here I reside right now:

“Peruvian authorities say they have arrested four members of a gang that specialized in selling fat obtained from dead humans.”

What. The. Fuck.

And that’s it. Check out the article yourself, it’s 101 words long. 101! I’m sorry but if you’re going to throw out that there’s a group of Peruvian gang members stealing the fat off of dead people, I’m going to need a little more detail! Seriously!

Why are they doing this? What do they gain by having containers of human fat? Who buys this shit? Somebody, please, WHAT IS GOING ON!?!

“The fat was sold in Peru and Europe and used for commercial purposes, Peruvian officials said.”

This is like a friend sending me an email that says “hey dude, check out this video I got of Marisa Miller rubbing lotion all over Megan Fox and they’re both naked,” and then having him leave off the link. With all due respect friend, SEND THE FUCKING LINK.

WTF!