Ladies And Gentlemen, The Penistron

There’s no way you can only watch this once. This has so much information in it, that it takes at least 3 times to comprehend the gravity of what is happening here. It’s not unlike the Theory of Relativity.

I always knew that the Japanese had a leg up on us when it came to technology, but I didn’t realize they had a leg behind the head. This dude has invented a truly virtual vagina and prostate tickler while I’m still whacking off with my bare hands and jamming my own finger in my butt. What the fuck.

Who is funding this research?! Is this the guy like Milton from Office Space? He’s on the payroll but no one knows why. That’s the only way you can explain why someone has enough electronics on their desk to invent a teleporter but instead invents a penistron and an internet compatible butt plug. I’m speechless and typing in my credit card information for a rushed order at the same time.

How much ass has this guy gotten in life to invent something like this? Negative three?

At one point of the video we read these English words which have been put together in this order for the first time in human history, “Vagina and Anus in the Bay for ATX Tower”. WHAT?!

He then claims that, “Many people like to masturbate with vacuum cleaners.” He of course is talking about himself and what he used before he made the Johnny 5 of sex toys.

Amazing.