No No, That Wasn’t It.

What the F?

Seriously Sammy, stop fucking around. You’ve already spent years bullshitting us about steriods and corked bats. Now this?

“Speaking publicly for the first time since photos of him from a recent musical award ceremony were published on the Internet, Sosa said that the skin lightening is the result of the use of a facial cosmetic cream.”

Yeah, I’m sure that was it. I mean, I take care of my face and I use cosmetic creams, loofas, and semen. EVERYBODY does, but never have I changed skin color. I’m not a fucking newt Sammy. Unless you’re Michael Childfucking Jackson your face color doesn’t just change with the seasons. Seriously dude.

“It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some,” said the former slugger during the “Primer Impacto” program at the Univision Spanish network. ‘It’s a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I’m not a racist, I live my life happily,’ said a smiling Sosa during the interview.”

Wait wait wait, so you ARE changing your skin!?! Dude, you’ve got me more confused then a black and white rubix cube! What am I even supposed to say about this?

WTF!