Not Gonna Happen

Correct.

Evolution, death, and desires to have sex with a rrrrreally fat chick, just once. All facts of life (at least for guys). You can throw in one more indesputible fact: People will smoke weed at a Phish show in Indio, CA. I am more sure of that that I am of the geometric shape of the earth. But police are funny, aren’t they?

Indio police are encouraging attendees at this weekend’s Phish Festival 8 to refrain from smoking marijuana to have a good time.

Telling Phish fans at the Coachella grounds to have a good time by not smoking weed is like telling a fish that he can have just as good of a time flopping around in a boat compared to swimming around in water.

“The bottom line is just don’t do it,” Indio police spokesman Ben Guitron said. “Don’t make it a memorable experience in the county jail.”

Mr. Guitorn, if you plan on making good with your threat, I hope you have leased out Army troop transport vehicles and your county jail is as large as the Bastille. Otherwise, relax. It’s weed. This isn’t a baby burning festival.