Maybe There IS a God!

Not anymore.

I’m sure it’s not because of my incessant pleadings (However, my ego is hard to convince otherwise) but it seems as if your God has answered my prayers (aka, my bitching).

Social workers have moved to take into care a baby born to an obese mother.

Finally, some baby snatching we can all believe in!

The mother has already had the youngest of her six children, aged 3 and 4, removed from her care because social workers feared that they were at risk of becoming obese.

Read between the lines: “Social workers knew from their spherical shape and propensity to eat large handfuls of butter that they were already obese.”

The 40-year-old mother weighed 23 stone before falling pregnant.

How much is 23 stones, you ask? Well imagine building a rock wall, and now imagine you put 23 of those rocks in a very strong satchel. No lay on a bed, place that satchel on top of you and try to have sex with it. That’s what a 23 stone woman is like (322 pounds, btw).

The parents originally contacted social workers themselves to seek help with managing their children, one of whom has developmental problems. At that time they had a toddler who weighed 4 stone (56 lbs) and a 13-year-old boy who weighed more than 16 stone (224 lbs).

Need some help managing? Stop eating lard burgers dipped in cholesterol and wrapped in whale blubber for every meal? Christ! Thank you social services of Dundee, Scotland…thank you.