Half?! Biscuits?!

Now THAT'S a hidden danger

Sometimes you read something 10 times and you still can’t believe your eyes. Kind of like the time you meant to send a “Morgan” a booty call text but you accidentally sent it to “Mom”. This is worse.

More than half of all Britons have been injured by biscuits ranging from scalding from hot tea or coffee while dunking or breaking a tooth eating during a morning tea break.

Biscuits. The same island that hasn’t had a foreign power on it’s soil since William the Conqueror in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, now has 1 out of every 2 of its inhabitants being “injured” by biscuits. Hitler’s Luftwaffe couldn’t breakthrough but it seems like 3 blind kids armed with plastic sand pails could overrun the whole country today.

An estimated 25 million adults have been injured while eating during a tea or coffee break – with at least 500 landing themselves in hospital, the survey revealed.

25 millioin adults?! That is more than the military wounded in the first World War?! WTF!

Hidden dangers included flying fragments and being hurt while dunking in scalding tea through to the more strange such as people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit or fallen off a chair reaching for the tin.

That sentence is the saddest thing written in human history, hands down. Hidden dangers? A bear trap in a swamp is a fucking hidden danger. Flying fragments of a biscuit is only dangerous if grenades were called biscuits.

One man even ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.

In related news: 100% of wildebeast injuries are suffered when lions try to eat them. That’s it. That is the only way they get injured. They don’t trip on dirt, they don’t choke breathing on air, and they don’t poke themselves in the eyes with pieces of grass. This is because they are not retarded animals.