This Is 2009, Right?

Can't get more opposite than perpendicular.

Yesterday I posted a story about moronic religious fanatics burning books in the name of God. The same God that if he did exist, would turn them all into pillars of salt for “not getting it”. I thought that was as bad as it gets. Oh how wrong I was on my scale of bad-dom. This is your pre-weekend religious back-to-backer.

Khristian Oliver, 32, who is due to die on November 5, was sentenced to death in 1999 for murdering a man whose home Oliver was burgling. The victim was shot in the face and beaten with his own rifle. It later emerged that while deciding whether he should be given the death penalty, jurors consulted the Bible. Four jury members admitted that several copies had been in the jury room and that highlighted passages were passed around.

What? In yesterday’s article I joked that the book burning reminded me about the state of the pre-Enlightenment world. But this current story makes me wonder if Texas ever reached the Enlightenment.

At one point, a juror reportedly read aloud from a copy, including the passage: “And if he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.”

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrro. I wish Thomas Jefferson was in that room to cock slap some people, and then have them shot for treason (It should be an amendment to the Constitution. Cock slapping and killing the stupid, specifically.) These people are quoting a book (The Old Testament) that was written at a time when Egyption pharoahs enslaved thousands to lug boulders up a hill. I think it’s time to move on from that time period’s human rights and ethical policies.

Next time I’m a juror, I’m going to bring in a stone slab ethched in cuneiform and consult it for sentencing advice.