That’s NOT A Pet

meet my pet bear "charlie"

I love dogs. I like cats, hampsters, rabbits, guinea pigs, and babies. All make good pets. Occasionally I can stand a bird and I think a monkey would be bad ass. Here is what you don’t keep as a pet:

“A 37-year-old Pennsylvania woman died Sunday after being mauled by her pet black bear, authorities said. Kelly Ann Walz was attacked when she entered the bear’s cage to feed the 350-pound animal and clean its cage, according to Pennsylvania State Police. The bear lived in a 15-by-15-foot steel and concrete enclosure on Walz’s property in Ross Township.”

I mean, come on lady. A 350 pound bear? Tell me what you planned on doing with that thing, other then look at it sitting in its 15 by 15 foot cage. That’s not exactly the kind of thing you curl up with when you watch a movie. You can’t take it for walks, you can’t play fetch with it, you can’t even take your children within 10 fucking feet of it.

And now it killed you.

Know what? If it wasn’t the bear, it probably would have been the Bengal tiger or African lion. Yup, the fucking TIGER or LION you had in your backyard!!

Who wrote the rules here for Ross Township, Michael Jackson? At what point is it ok for somebody to have a bear, lion, and tiger, all chillin out in the backyard? That’s simply ridiculous.

WTF!