None Of This Makes Sense

Did she get hit by them?

Sometimes things don’t add up or as the Notorious B.I.G stated, sometimes things don’t mix, like two dicks and no bitch. But I’m not here to talk about Biggie. I’m here to talk about this, because the facts of this story too, don’t mix.

A woman trying to smash a penny on the tracks was hit by a train Thursday night. Emergency crews rushed to the scene at River Road and Idaho Street in Sedamsville just after 8 p.m. They say the woman in her 20s suffered a minor head injury and was walking around when crews arrived. She was taken to the hospital for observation.

That is the entire article by the way. That is some descriptive crack reporting. But anyhow, who is dumb enough to get hit be a steaming locomotive, in the first place? Put the penny down, let extremely loud, multi-thousand ton train drive by at high speed, retrieve penny, and voilá!

River Road. Idaho Street. Sedamsville. I’m no geographist, but I have an inkling that there is not much to do in that area.

But wait a second here…a minor head injury? Was this “train” one of those see-saw powered 2 man handcart thingys? How fine of a line is it between getting a minor head injury from being hit by a moving train, and having the train disembowel you and crush every bone in your body?

Something isn’t adding up here. It’s like I had two penises in each hand with no girl to give them to. Or however Biggie meant his analogy to be taken.