75%.

I wonder if people in Oklahoma know what state that is?

I wonder if people in Oklahoma know what state is in red?

My previous article made fun of the ignorance of the American public. I had no idea this next article would make the U.S. Forestry Service look like a band of global citizens.

75 Percent of Oklahoma High School Students Can’t Name the First President of the U.S.

Most of you think I am making that up to be sarcastic. I wish I was. 3 out of 4 High Schoolers in Oklahoma do not know the name “George Washington”. That’s doubly sad since he is the face on the only 2 pieces of currency that they will be handling for the rest of their productive lives.

What on earth is going on in Oklahoma High Schools? George fucking Washington. Wow. But if you thought that was bad, go grab your air sickness bag right about now…

About 92 percent of the people who take the citizenship test pass on their first try, according to immigration service data. However, Oklahoma students did not fare as well. Only about 3 percent of the students surveyed would have passed the citizenship test.

Three percent. How are these people passing American history? Are there only 2 lesson plans in Oklahoma: 1) The Red River Shootout and 2) 9/11?

These people are considered some of the most fanatical “Americans”. They’ll tell you that they bleed red, white, and blue but they apparently have no idea how any of it started. Makes sense. I’m also assuming these high schoolers can differentiate between the colors red, white, and blue.

Sing it with me now! From sea….tooooooo shining seaaaaaaaaaaaaa!