The Greatest Invention Of All-Time

Congrats

The human being has done ok on the road of innovation. The shoe, the wheel, the moonwalk, anal beads. All things that we can’t imagine life without, yes, but I’d have to say that Homo Sapien Sapien has outdone himself once again.

A ‘two-in-one’ breast enlargement operation takes excess fat from the thighs and stomach and moves it to the bust. The procedure transfers fat from unwanted areas to create ‘natural’ breast enlargements. Doctors believe it will bring several benefits, including a more natural shape and feel compared with augmented breasts.

You know what mankind, we really should take the 7th day off because I have seen what you have done, and it is good. This surgery will help solve this conundrum.

Man #1: Dude, that girl asked me to go home with her, I think I’m gonna do it. She’s pretty cute.
Man#2: Yeah, she’s cute but a little flat on top and thick on the bottom. If only those two things could switch, you’d be golden.
Man #1: Well what can I do? I’m hammered and I haven’t gotten laid in months so I’ll deal with the flat chest and the grab bar.
Man #2: Suit yourself.

Horrible, right? No one should have to experience something like that!

‘This type of augmentation technique is very effective in enabling surgeons to shape the breast and achieve smooth, natural-looking contours.’ An increase of up to three cup sizes can be achieved by the redistribution of body fat, said surgeons.

As amazing as this is, it is another example of how unfair the world is to men. A man’s physical trophy is his penis. A penis is made of muscle. We’re supposed to do keggles to keep it strong and focus on breathing techniques so our muscles can help us not cum too fast. But if a guy has a small peter, all the staying power ain’t gonna get him shit. A woman’s physical trophy are her boobs, which are made of fat. In order for her to get bigger boobs and woo more men, she only now needs to get fatter and science will take care of the rest.

What an uphill world men have to live in. I tell ya…Thank God society is trying to help us out by giving us bigger boobs to look at while we go to the gym for months to put on muscle mass in the anticipation that science will be able to then have that muscle removed and added to the penile shaft.