That’s One Way To Handle It

Imposter! It's Adam and Eve!

Question: If you were a female youth minister and you wanted to convince a young couple from not having premarital sex, would this be your coup de grace?

According to court records and sources, Jennifer Michelle Brennan of Spotsylvania, met the boy through her position as youth minister at Saint Matthias United Methodist Church in Stafford. The boy’s mother said that among other things, Brennan counseled her son and his girlfriend against premarital sex. An affidavit for a search warrant states that Brennan began holding and kissing the boy during counseling sessions, and the acts later escalated to sodomy and sexual intercourse.

Whoa whoa whoa. Wait one gosh darn Virginia minute here. Who the heck let a WOMAN from “Spotsylvania” be a youth minister? Do you see what happens when you let a female Dracula become a member of the cloth? Women are by nature, sexual predators, let alone one with fangs and a hunger for blood. If the youth minister had been a male from a non-fictional city, like tradition states, there would never be any sexual wrong doings towards teenage boys. I mean, what kind of grown man would molest a boy?

The only serious question I have is in regards to the sodomy and because I know you’re all thinking the same thing, I’ll be the brave soul that asks it…Was the sodomizing being given or taken by the boy? This would change the situation completely. That’s the difference between the dealer showing a 6 compared to a 7 in relation to the two 10’s in your hand.

Pastor Jennifer from Spotsylvania, or whatever the hell they call a religious wolf in sheep’s clothing these days, it would be a small solace for me (not his mother) to know that you let the boy tag you in the can. If it was the other way around…I hope they ship you back to eastern Romania to be dealt with by Van Helsing.