.393 You Should Be Dead

Hmmm, was he in New Mexico?

New Mexico police said a man was arrested on Monday for his 22nd drunken driving offense—and his blood-alcohol content tested a .393 almost 5 times higher than the legal limit of .08.

I don’t know what to deal with first here. 22 drunken driving arrests? Is this Deadwood in the 1800’s? How is this person still out on the streets? If he even ran over a puppy how would New Mexico justify it the family? “Yeah, we were really gonna throw the book at him on his 25th DUI” Secondly, a .393? Andre the Giant would be shocked at this number. How is this guy not dead? Maybe he is the guy that Bruce Willis’s character from Unbreakable was based on. Yeah, I bet he’s like a super hero, only instead of any real powers he can get more shitfaced than any human being on the planet.

“He was coherent,” Lt. Eric Garcia said. “He showed signs of slurred speech, as might be normal for any DWI arrest, which led the officer to believe he might be driving under the influence.”

He was five times the legal limit and he was “coherent”? Seriously, don’t piss this guy off; there is a 50% chance that he’s a minion of God here to watch over us, more powerful than we could possibly imagine.
P.S. When did New Mexico get cars, cops, electricity and the written language?