Supreme Court Judge Scalia Seems Like A Joy

I swear.

It’s always nice to know that Supreme Court judges are there to protect you and the Constitution at all costs. Welllll in actuality, they’re here to protect the Constitution. They don’t give a shit about you.

Antonin Scalia criticized his colleagues for thinking that mere innocence is grounds to overturn a conviction. He says, “This Court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who has had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is “actually” innocent.

Mere innocence grounds to overturn a conviction? Wow. Hey Scalia, are you a cyborg? Taking the Constitution word for word without a thread of logic would be like someone reading the Bible and thinking that everything they read was actually truth. hahahaha. I mean, how absurd would that be?! Right? (cricket…cricket)

So I guess it’s innocent until proven guilty, and guilty = herpes, because you’re never getting rid of that label even if you tell everyone that the only reason you have herpes is because you drank out of the same soda can as some girl in third grade who had this funny thing on her lip but you didn’t know what a cold sore was. And anyways, it’s not the “down there” herpes, it’s the oral herpes and it’s been dormant for 10 years but everyone still calls you “Death Lip” and you haven’t kissed a girl this millenium. Fuck you, Judge Scalia! Fuck you, world! I’m beautiful! I like making out with my left arm and jerking off with my right hand waaaaay more than dating a chick anyway!