AIDS, CANCER, and CELLULITE

gross

If I had to come up with a list of the Top-10 things we need to do as Americans, I can definitely tell you that finding a cure for fucking cellulite wouldn’t crack it. In fact, it wouldn’t crack my top 100, and probably not my top 1000. Come to think of it, it’s preposterous this even made it onto the front page of CNN.com period!

“Beverly Hunt is a mover and a shaker. A public relations executive who runs her own business in Laurel, Maryland, Hunt believes in looking good. She keeps active and stays in shape. But she has one slight problem that drives her crazy: No matter how much she exercises, she can’t get rid of her cellulite.”

Hey Beverly, nobody cares. Your disgusting cottage cheese ass is about as important to my life as Mickey Rourke’s calf implants are. And FYI, that picture of you “exercising,” or rather, walking down the street really makes you look fat. I mean, your ass is like…baadddaaooooww. Damn.

Can’t we spend some time researching “cures” to more important things? Is this completely ridiculous to anybody else?

New rule, if you have cankles, an ass as round as a pot-hole cover, and cellulite, you are FORBIDDEN from being on the front page of CNN.com. Who’s with me!?!

WTF!