The End Is Near.

Stop doing that, God.

Texas. We’ve written about it. We’ve laughed about it. Just like the Niceans (people from Nice, France) make the Parisians (people from…fuck that, you should know where they’re from) seem like a friendly, and altogether, warm bunch of people, Texas makes the rest of America seem logical and civilized.

Books are a common sight in classrooms around the nation, but the Bible is one book that is not. Come this fall, a Texas law says all public schools must offer information relating to the Bible in their curriculum.

What. the. fuck.

This has gained mixed reactions from East Texans. ”I think it is a good thing because a lot of kids don’t have that experience, and they already want to take prayer out of school as it is– and you see where our kids are ending up!” said Tyler resident Laura Tucker.

Laura, I wish Thomas Jefferson was here so you could bring this gripe to him and I wish I could be sitting there as he punched you in the face. You see where our kids are ending up? How about you try parenting to keep your idiot kid in order instead of relying on the power of prayer?

Dear Mexico: People don’t give you enough credit for throwing the war with Texas and leaving us a heaping pile of political and intellectual shit. Touche.