I have been waiting for a GI Joe movie to come out since i was 5! Yeah, I know there already was a movie in 1987 but it starred Don Johnson and we both know that Nash Bridges didn’t really do justice to the franchise.
So here we are 2009, I had such hope that my dreams would be realized. Then I found out it stars Marlon Wayans, the only Wayans brother that wasn’t funny enough to be on In Living Color, and Channing Tatum as Duke! Duke was the man, he led the Joe team like he was Spartacus. William Wallace would ask him for help before going into battle. Channing Tatum had some big shoes to fill, unfortunately turns out he is much more comfortable taking his shoes off, along with the rest of his clothes to techno music, epileptic looking dance moves and dollar bills being put in his G-String by what appears to be Tweedle Dee’s twin sister. I bet the theme song meant something entirely different to him when he heard it. . .
He’ll fight for freedom where ever there’s trouble.
GI Joe is there. (Looks like there is trouble on the dance floor)
It’s GI Joe against Cobra the enemy (My Cobra is deadly like this dope beat)
Fighting to save the day. (Lets see if this erection helps the situation)
He never gives up. (Thank you Viagra)
He’s always there, (In the butt)
Fighting for freedom over land and air (and in the butt)
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there (swinging my dick in this fat lady’s face)
GI Joe is the codename for American’s daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It’s purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.
(Oh, my Cobra is ruthless alright, especially when they play I Just Wanna Dance With Somebody)
He never gives up. (Unless she’s/he’s out of money)
He’ll stay til the fight’s won. (Unless she/he pays for the champagne room)
GI Joe will dare.
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe (I hate my life)
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