Jesus Clinton?

Not the "rescue" I imagined.

Has anyone else thought about this for 2 seconds? Bill Clinton just procured an aircraft, swooped into nuclear North Korea, met with “Il Dong” and rescued two American journalists from the grips of the communist shackles, and he didn’t even have a scratch on him. Ok, it wasn’t quite like the rescue Arnold put on at the end of Commando where he infiltrated an entire military installation and killed all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, but still.

The women told their families in a phone call that North Korean officials had clearly stated that they would be released if Clinton came to Pyongyang.

Are you kidding me? This wasn’t a rescue, this was an appearance! This guy is like Bono! People request him to show up just so they can meet him. Even Kim Jong Il is on Billy C’s jock. I wonder if Il was hystericallly screaming when he met Bill, holding out his favorite cigar for Bill to sign.

So I guess it’s offical now…North Korea is an adoring fan, not a threat or an enemy. You can be sure if Adolf showed up to Churchill’s doorstep to personally rescue captured Nazi journalists, someone was going to be catching a bullet in the face.

(Note: The most absurd thing about the linked article is that the journalist’s names aren’t even mentioned. It’s as if this was all set up so Il and Bill could meet and cross that off their bucket list. Brilliant.)