Is This Really Necessary?

Equally as bad

The only thing I really know about breast feeding is that a baby will attack a woman’s nipple with the same vigor as me, albeit for different reasons. Boobies are great. They give us life as a baby…and as adult males, they are majestic spherical balls of fat that at times control our thoughts and motor skills. What I’m saying is, I understand their importance. But this is a little creepy.

A Spanish toy manufacturer, Berjuan, launched Bebé Glotón, the breast-feeding doll. The name translates to mean Glutton Baby (charming!), and the doll comes with a special halter top – adorned with daisies for nipples – that little girls wear while they pretend to breastfeed. According to thingamababy.com, the doll makes sucking noises when lifted to the daisies.

WTF? See, I don’t like half-assed toys. If it’s going to be a breast feeding toy, give the toy the nipple it is supposed to be desiring. Don’t mess with nature. You saw what happened in The Day After Tomorrow! A few years down the line, the effect of this toy is going to wreak havoc on 15 year-old boys everywhere. They’re gonna try to suck their first booby and the girl is going to think that he can accomplish that over her shirt. Here, suck this daisy!

This is a travesty and I fear for repercussions this will have on an early teen’s sex life.