I Love Rooskies

No fear.

I know what you’re thinking. You think I’m referring to some hot Russian exports that I’ve been trying to marry online. Oh contraire mon frair.

Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month’s World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 Swine Flu virus, the head of the country’s supporter association (VOB) said Monday. “We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection,” VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters. “That should cure all symptoms of the disease.”

Wow. I’m sure FIFA is backing that sentiment too. In case your history is a bit rusty, the Russians are that group of people that mowed down their own retreating soldiers in WWII. The horrors of that memory have clearly been forgotten because now there are more lambs to the slaughter for God and country.

“Russian fans don’t fear anything or anybody so this virus will not stand in our way of supporting our team. We don’t want our team to be without any support for such an important match so we urge our fans to go to Wales despite the health warning,” a spokesman said.

That is so badass. Americans have pride but it can’t compare to Mother Russia. People stayed home from work because of the Swine Flu. American fans would be told to buy a bottle of hand sanitizer, drink some tea and root from home. The American spirit travels great distances. Russians are told to sack up, enter the lions den and buy a bottle of whiskey. Americans don’t even show up to games in our own country if we catch wind that there are going to be numerous Mexicans there. We are told that Mexicans are dirty and that worries us.

I wish I was Russian at times like these. But I’m guessing I’m too big of a pussy to make the cut. I mean, I write a blog. How pussy is that?