Brilliant!

wow

This is awesome. I can see exactly how this happened right now:

Picture a “wall street” guy sitting in his office, enjoying a nice cup of morning coffee and an intern BJ. He says to himself, “How can I start a new ponzi scheme and make millions RIGHT after Bernie just went to jail for this?” Right as he blows, he hears a car screech out down the street and the answer presents itself: NASCAR.

Those guys are dumber than fuck. It’s like challenging an amputee to a footrace, or a blind guy to a fencing match.

So he did.

“Basically, the Ponzi scheme made investors believe that they could get them a guaranteed return on their investment up to 40.8 percent and they got them to invest their money and then used their money for their own personal gain. Our investigation is still in the process of collecting evidence and sorting through the different computers and everything else we found,’ FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said.”

Cough! Wait, did you say 40.8% return!?! And these idiots actually bought this? The only investment that’s paying 40.8% return today is the goddamn roulette table in Las Vegas. And even then you only get it a third of the time!

I think I’m going to invent a product to sell to NASCAR guys, I’ll call it the “ZOOM BUTTON.” Simply take the “ZOOM BUTTON” sticker off the paper, place it on your dash, and press it when you want to go really fast! I’ll make a damn fortune!