WTF Is Wrong With You People?!

Right.

The only thing that gets me more riled up than stupid people would be someone pooping on my sleeping face, sitting in it, filming it and somehow have that video attach to every resume I send for the rest of my life. Well that is at least what I thought before today because you can add, “psychics” to the level of the the shitting on my face thing.

When Glynis McCants looks at Michael Jackson’s life, she sees the number five. Jackson’s talent was discovered when he was 5 years old, he came to fame as a member of the Jackson 5 and he planned a series of 50 concert dates in London, England, as part of a comeback tour before he died on June 25 at the age of 50. For McCants, a noted numerologist and author, those facts are very telling: “Five is the number for drama, and it was in his life his whole life.”

Dear Lord. Glynis McCants, when I look at your life I see a pathetic one.

Numerology deals with the influence of numbers on personal characteristics and human affairs.

“Deals with” aka, not a type of science whatsoever. It’s like when Willem Dafoe tells that guy in Boondock Saints that he must be an expert in “nameology”.

McCants said that by taking Jackson’s birth date (8/29/1958) she could chart his personality. His was “six life path,” she said, meaning he was magnetic and drew people to him. That, coupled with the fact that he was born on a two day made him irresistible, she said. “If you are born on a two day and are a six life path then America and the world seem to fall in love with you,” McCants said.

You know who else was born on (8/29/58)? Lenny Henry. Who’s that, you ask? This guy:

Lenny and MJ have identical lives, don't they?

The world doesn’t give a fuck about Lenny Henry, now does it?

I could continue quoting the inanity of this entire article that CNN should go hang itself for posting but then I predict that Glynis McCants would always be fat and worthless if I did that, and I am not a mean person so I am going to stop right here. I’m an expert in truth-eology. You’re Welcome Glynis!

…Ok I couldn’t help it but:

Psychic Eddie Conner said Jackson couldn’t help but attract such attention, even if it resulted in a life of isolation. Conner works as a “soul intuitive” in Los Angeles.

HE WORKS AS A SOUL INTUITIVE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US?!?! I’m gonna go make up a profession. I’m gonna go be a psychic consultant! haha. Who’s with me? They have consultants for everyt-. Wait. No. Please god no!

The desire for such a connection can cause devastation now that Jackson is gone, said psychic consultant, Jack Rourke, who has worked extensively in paranormal research and consulted for major Hollywood studios. “Even though we’ve never met Michael, people create a symbiotic relationship with this image or this person,” Rourke said. “We project all of the positive aspects of ourselves, all of the wonderful things onto this image of perfection or near perfection that we see, and we imagine subconsciously that this person is in agreement with the deepest part of ourselves.

We are the saddest creature that has ever lived…WTF.