Laziness has Never Been So Scary

Somethings should be said to your face.

We all live busy lives. We may have the time to get trashed and take home that dime we met just before the closing time lights came on, but most of us just don’t have the time to go see a doctor the next day about that rash that won’t go away. Fear not. Now you can screen yourself for STDs and have a “Doctor” text message you with the results.

Yes, there’s nothing that says competent medical practice like mailing a urine swab I just administered to myself to a clinic. But, hey, at least I don’t have to look anyone in the eye!

Sure, there are plenty of Bristol Palins out there who were taught that sex is dirty, but if you’re concerned enough about an STD that you feel the need to get tested, is it really that hard to go see a real fucking doctor?

Think about it, which is worse?
Option 1 – Having to tell a doctor that you want to be tested (and this doctor has undoubtably seen cases so much worse than you that you didnt even know they existed).
Option 2 - Waiting several days for a life-altering text to arrive like the Sword of Damacles is hanging over your head?

I’ll take option 1, please. I can’t even imagine how option 2 plays out. “Shit, I only get 1 bar at work, what if the doctor texts??” “WTF is Super AIDS?!?”

Don’t get me wrong, I love convenience, but, shit, people, get off your couch and tend to your life.