Dodgeball Turns To Life or Death

Beautiful, just beautiful

Daniel Sanabria, 58, a substitute teacher is under fire after allegedly placing an elementary school student in a dangerous chokehold after he wouldn’t leave a dodgeball game.

Look, when I was in 6th grade there was nothing more important to me than lunchtime dodgeball. Each classroom had a team; it was an epic year long tournament. This was more important to me than finger-banging a cheerleader, and for age of 12, that’s saying something. It was where boys became men, where legends were created. And god help you if a kid from the other classroom hit puberty early. All of a sudden it was like Doc Gooden throwing rock hard rubber bowling balls. That kid would wipe the sweat off his Danny Alamonte mustache and watch you as you gasped for the air you were sure was around you but you couldn’t get into your humiliated body.

Point being, I was 12, this guy is 58. Sanabria apparently grabbed the student, pushed him into a wall, threw him to the ground and put him into some sort of arm and headlock and lifted him up off the ground.

You know what, fuck it! If that little bastard blew the game for his team, his soldiers, his brothers in arms, then he deserved it. Kudos to you Mr. Sanabria, Dodgeball isn’t a game, it’s a lifestyle. A lifestyle of pain and glory. Now he knows!