Time For a Life Re-evaluation

When your job entails dressing up as Santa and having kids sit on your lap and ask you for shit, you can be pretty sure that you will second guess a few decisions that you made in life. When your job entails dressing up as Santa and having animals sit on your lap, you wonder if the sperm race you won to your mother’s egg, was fixed.

Holy Shit! Southern Florida, get your shit together! YOU are the people who lost the 2000 election for us??? You can’t figure out a ballot with 2 names on it but you can organize a “Pets and Pina Colada Fundraiser” where completely undomesticatable animals without the awareness of the happenings around them whatsoever, have to take part in a human created fairy tale?! Erroneous!

And there’s an event photographer? I don’t know what’s worse…getting shat on by an animal that has no business EVER having the upperhand on you or being the person responsible for documenting it. And what in the Sam Hell is a Sugar Glider!?

Santa, here’s some advice, use up your sick days. They don’t roll over next year. Get the fuck out of there!