Huh?

Machine Malfunction

Is Lynn Cheney being held hostage or something, because I think Dick Cheney is saying whatever the kidnappers want him to say. I know how this works. I’ve seen 24. WTF-1 and WTF-2. Granted, WTF-1 is linked to the NY Post and that is about as accurate as using a 3-year-old’s drawing of a mountain as a Hi-Def photo.

“People ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish,” said Cheney.

In related news, Dick Cheney’s cyborg chip planted in his brain has been malfunctioning. Dick Cheney wouldn’t back gay marriage even if his daughter was a lezbo! Hahahahaha. Riiiiight? What’s next? He’s gonna tell us that Saddam Hussein wasn’t involved in 9/11????

On whether Hussein helped al-Qaeda carry out the 2001 terrorist attacks, Cheney said, “I do not believe, and I have never seen any evidence, that he was involved in 9/11.”

Dood. WTF.

“Oops” can only be used in horseshoes and hand grenades (or something like that). So to the people of Iraq, we’re officially sorry for the 6 years of utter hell and destruction we put your country in. Who needed schools, hospitals and museums anyway??? But seriously, we got our intelligence mixed up. It happens. But don’t worry, we’ll be gone soon and in consolation you will have a bunch of McDonalds…to kill you from the inside.

God bless destroy Dick Cheney.