Read The Key Word Dickheads!

Is this real?

Front Page of CNN.com RIGHT NOW: Why Our Science Fiction Future Fizzled.

Hmmm, let me take a stab at this one. Is it because we stopped growing smarter? Or maybe because we got too consumed with “green things.” Actually no, even better, it’s because we decided to go to a bunch of shitty wars and now our economy is in the tank. That MUST be it.

Nope. It’s FICTION. It says SCIENCE FICTION. IT’S NOT. FUCKING. REAL!

FICTION = FAKE = NOT TRUE = MEGAN FOX IS BLOWING ME RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE THIS AND HER PINKY IS MASSAGING MY ANUS!

Are you guys serious? How can you even ask “what happened?” This is like asking, and making the front page on CNN.com, “How come Moby Dick doesn’t come up and eat all the pirate boats zipping around off the coast of Kenya?”

Nothing happened! It was never real to begin with!! Fiction. WTF.