John Wayne Bobbitt Is Feelin Lucky. . .

Imagine This was a penis, only instead of proud and strong, it was a bloody stump!

Because this didn’t happen to him.

“A Russian woman got so upset by the news that her boyfriend intended to leave her that she tied several firecrackers to his penis and exploded them.”

Russians drink vodka, wrestle bears, and stroll through Siberia for fun.  Point being, they are tough, really tough.  Zeus from No Holds Barred would sooner go to a KKK rally in the deepest, darkest corner of Mississippi with his hands tied behind his back, than go to Russia.  I’m pretty sure as I write this, there is a two year old Russian baby strangling another Russian baby to death for stealing his juice box.  And what they call juice, we call “moonshine”.

Even for Russia though, blowing off a man’s dick with fire crackers is some serious shit.  When we think of fire crackers we think of BBQ’s, the 4th of July, summer hijinx, and county fairs.  Apparently when this Russian woman thinks of them, she thinks “colorful fire shooter of genital death”.  I honestly never thought I would read about something that made John Wayne Bobbitt say, “Damn, did you see what happened to that guy’s dick?  I am one lucky guy”.

Last 5 posts by Uncle Awesome

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Tagged as: Blow penis off, Firecracker, John Wayne Bobbitt, KKK, Mississippi, No Holds Barred, Russia, Siberia, Zeus