That's supposed to say, "I used to write for the Associated Press."
Apparently the Associated Press is letting anybody submit articles to be published nationally now, because this obviously came from a reclusive 12 year old girl in Wyoming.
“Cleveland Cavaliers center Ben Wallace is upset with Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy for accusing him of flopping.”
Got it? He’s upset. He’s as fucking sad as a cripple in a footrace.
“Van Gundy said Monday he was bothered by the number of times Cleveland guard Mo Williams and Wallace dropped to the floor in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals. He said the pair fell down more times than a baby.”
Ohhhhh, oh no he di-ent! Fell down more times than a baby!?! Holy Toledo Batman! But wait, it gets better:
“Wallace is one of the NBA’s most intimidating players. When asked about Van Gundy’s comments during Tuesday’s shootaround before Game 4, Wallace said Van Gundy should shut up, adding an expletive for emphasis.”
I have read more exciting literature in the children’s section at Boarders. A mormon kid in Utah could drum up a more lively sentence.
How about: “Wallace, one of the baddest motherfuckers ever to walk the planet, so badass he BRAIDS HIS FUCKING CHIN BEARD, told fat, floppy Stan Van Gundy to shut his fucking mouth before he filled it with his drainage-pipe sized dick.”
“Van Gundy made the same claims about Shaquille O’Neal this season, and the coach later apologized.”
And that’s it. That’s the whole article. That’s it! WTF!!
Last 5 posts by Big Lou Al Timber
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