When I Grow Up

I can't figure out what is "Thumb's Up" about this situation.

I have some goals in life. I’d like to beat Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson’s Punchout. I’d like to have so much money that Richard Branson works for me. I’d like to have sex with the woman in the previous post. I’d like to not go to jail. And I’d most certainly like to never be so fat that I have to be carted around in a U-Haul truck. OOF!

It’s stories like that support the idea that your life is NOT that bad. A little hung over? Not that big of a deal. No food in the fridge and you’re late for work? You can buy breakfast. Wake up next to a dude and your finger is in his butt? You’ll always have a great story. Being so fat that you couldn’t make your original court date because you couldn’t fit into an average sized automobile so they had to pick you up in a U-Haul truck and back you into the loading dock to make your arraignment? Pretty much rock bottom.

So cheer up! Can’t you feel spring in the air???