The One Guy Who Should NOT Get A Bailout

This is my Number, I will help you Gamble.

Harry Kakavas lost $2,000,000 in 43 minutes at the Crown Casino in Melbourne Australia. He has lost around $30,000,000 there in all and has bet a total of roughly 1.5 BILLION dollars there. Now Kakavas is SUING the Casino for his money back.

For someone who clearly spends so much time at the Casino he really has a very limited grasp on how it works. Even when we had Casino day in pre-school and I was betting four Cheerios on black (always bet on black), I knew I wasn’t going to get them back if by some miracle Wesley Snipes was wrong and somehow, someway, Red came up.

I hate this guy for a few reasons: 1. He has enough money to gamble 1.5 billion dollars over the course of 16 months 2. He has enough money to lose $2,000,000 in less time than it takes to watch an old episode of Baywatch (something my 15 year-old self was pretty sure I would be masturbating to until the end of time, see below) 3. Charles Barkley has nowhere near the amount of “fuck you” money that this guy has and he lost millions too, but he took it like a man, realizing there is no mulligan at Casino’s for being the worlds shittiest gambler 4. “He also made calls to the casino asking to be allowed to gamble again, but was refused.”

Mr. Kakavas, please email me here at Browtf. Your line of credit is always good with me and I will be happy to take your bets. In the mean time, go watch Honeymoon In Vegas, for my sake, I hope your wife is at least hot, being that I’ll own her within a month.