Shocking Breaking News That Could Save Your Life!

This is an old family photo from my Florida vacation, true story!

We told you here at Browtf that Swine Flu was not to be taken seriously. That the media is full of more lies and exaggerations than a sixth grader talking about his girlfriend he met over the summer, you wouldn’t have known her, she lived in Canada but she was super hot, and let me touch her boobs.

Just for the record, any stories I have ever told about any of my long distance girlfriends from middle school are all completely true. If anything I down played them. I’m talking big time sluts, super hot, mostly in their early 20’s. I was really mature for the seventh grade. One time when I was 13, I was in South Florida; I was accused of rape by a manipulative rich girl and her trailer trash classmate. The cop on the case began to suspect a conspiracy and dove into an elaborate and devious web of greed and betrayal to find the truth. Yeah, that was crazy, the rich one looked exactly like Denise Richards, and the trailer trash one looked like that chick from party of five, only trashier. One ended up dead, the other without a tooth, but I totally nailed them, my friends never met them or anything, but it happened, swear to god, I don’t have to prove anything to you.

Oh yeah, swine flu doesn’t even require drugs to get better, it’s less worrisome than a cold.