OBBBBviously!

Get 'em in line

I love useless studies. I mean, supremely useless studies that shed zero light on anything whatsoever. If we were lost in the forest and desperately needed a light to guide our way, this story would be a “new moon”. Is it really of anyone’s interest who prays more? A lot of good praying has gotten Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons, huh? Everyone thinks they’re a bunch of weirdos and they are basically confined to small spaces (your door step and Utah, respectively). Awesome. Yay for prayer! But my favorite were these words of brilliance:

People are more likely to pray if they are elderly, poor or female.

Really? You needed a survey to figure this out? Old people are about to die and they are scared of not being alive so they participate in the “I’m-going-to-trick-God-into-thinking-I-deserve-to-be-saved-in-case-there-is-an-afterlife” prayer sessions.

Poor people…well they’re poor and they want more stuff, like a roof over their head so they hop in the “There-must-be-something-better-than-this-life-because-I-don’t-even-have-a-fucking-roof-over-my-head-and-if-you-told-me-there-wasn’t-a-God-I’d-burn-the-city-down” prayer group.

And women? Are you kidding me? Women need everything to have a purpose and reason so they look for “signs” in anything so they pray, visit psychics or read shit like this. You can drop a set of pickup sticks in front of a woman and convice her that you can see her future husband’s name in it. Women don’t pray…they want answers. “God, why doesn’t he like me?” or “God, Planet Earth is just so hard to watch. Why does anything have to die?”

Put these all togther and this is why everyone says, ”Look at this crazy bitch” when they see a homeless old woman praying in the street.